You know when someone says 'Don't touch that plate, it's hot' but you do and it really stings. Imagine that burn but on your nob - FOREVER.

This Christmas sees the death of Heinrich, a fantasy servant I summon when I need cheering up.

Dancing priests, Nazi sympathizers, horny milkmen, vindictive bishops, mind-numbing bores, the list is deliciously endless.

Better to be a small part of something perfect than a big part of something shite. (Creating the character Father Austin Purcell )

In Ireland, we had 20 years of the '50s. The '60s just never happened. I remember having a very loud shirt - but sex - no.

Being an actor is a joyful agony. Every day is exciting, exhausting and fulfilling but it is grade A heroin. Totally addictive.

3 wonderful poems, just rude enough to be pleasureable.

The problem with the word HORNY, is that it is the comedy version of aroused. A combination of vulgarity and titillation but on the www

After having spent the last two years writing corporate nonsense about fire extinguishers and women's clothing I'm delighted to do something