Blog | Ben Keaton / All I'm Saying

I lost my virginity to a drug dealing nurse

You know when someone says 'Don't touch that plate, it's hot' but you do and it really stings. Imagine that burn but on your nob - FOREVER.

THE DEATH OF HEINRICH

This Christmas sees the death of Heinrich, a fantasy servant I summon when I need cheering up.

FATHER TED - A BUNCH OF Wierdos

Dancing priests, Nazi sympathizers, horny milkmen, vindictive bishops, mind-numbing bores, the list is deliciously endless.

Father Ted - Looking back

Better to be a small part of something perfect than a big part of something shite. (Creating the character Father Austin Purcell )

MY FIRST GIRLFRIEND WAS A TREE

In Ireland, we had 20 years of the '50s. The '60s just never happened. I remember having a very loud shirt - but sex - no.

GOING BACK- and dreading it

Being an actor is a joyful agony. Every day is exciting, exhausting and fulfilling but it is grade A heroin. Totally addictive.

3 Poems TO MAKE YOU HORNY

3 wonderful poems, just rude enough to be pleasureable.

What I learned about SEX-ON THE INTERNET

The problem with the word HORNY, is that it is the comedy version of aroused. A combination of vulgarity and titillation but on the www

Poetry! Are you out of your feckin mind!

After having spent the last two years writing corporate nonsense about fire extinguishers and women's clothing I'm delighted to do something